dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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