You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
