i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
