So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
