I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize