We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
