so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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