Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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