btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm both gender and math confused
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
