i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
