I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
