i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
