It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize