Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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