Will you blow on my dice?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize