well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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