we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
