okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
