sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
