Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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