I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
