i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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