i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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