a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
