Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize