did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
