we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize