So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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