once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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