found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need to calm my uterus...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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