She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize