He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
