just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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