try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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