That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
