I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
