Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize