you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
