you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize