the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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