Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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