I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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