do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
