Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
