I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
