Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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