You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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