i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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