I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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