I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
PANTIES FOUND
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
