Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Are my feet made of real feet?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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