Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
