I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
