Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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