I think im going to throw up on grandma
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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