She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
