I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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