There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
