let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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