ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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