8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i want to fuck
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it's pretty self explanatory
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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