I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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