Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
