I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Randomize