Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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