Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
