i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
