i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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