YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
