i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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