I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
