East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
