well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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