the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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