I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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