I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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