i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize