i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
