I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So apparently I’m into choking now
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